Saturday, July 7, 2012

One year ago


Saturday June 7th, 2012

            A year ago today might have been the longest day of my life, we got up at 2:30 in the morning to travel to the airport where we then waited for three or four hours until our flight was set to leave. We got there early enough to be the first and only people in the entire airport besides the janitors cleaning the floor. After getting all of our luggage checked in and some nerve-racking last minute repacking from others to get under the weight limit we were on our way to Miami. Once in Miami we waited for our connecting flight to Tegucigalpa, when we boarded it was still early in the morning and the day was starting to catch up with us only most of us could not sleep due to the excitement. I was able to manage a few rough minutes of sleep mostly due to just exhaustion as I had not gotten much sleep the past couple of nights. I sat next to Peter and Ryan on the plane and while Ryan slept for much of the flight I was able to talk to Peter who was my roommate at the hotel the night before. As we were being served our drinks on the plane I was given a cup with a large block of ice in it which I promptly spilled all over myself and my custom forms due to the large block of ice creating an unbalance of the cup, at least that is what I tell myself. After getting cleaned up and filling out some new custom forms I was prepared for one of the most exciting plane landings ever. Landing in the capital of Honduras, Tegucigalpa, requires the plane to do a complete 180 degree turn as it gets very close to the ground and comes over some hills before finally landing in what seems like just the nick of time. Seeing as how I love flying and roller coasters this was like a combination of the two and was a lovely beginning experience for me in my new home country.
            Upon landing and getting off the plane, I think most of began to realize just how much we were going to have to rely on others to help us out as we were in a totally new culture with a totally different language. The amount of trust that PCVs have to have in humans is absolutely unbelievable. As we somehow made our way through customs and got our passports stamped we were greeted by a welcome site, Americans. Our country director, and some other staff members were waiting on the other side of customs with smiling faces ready to welcome us to Honduras. As we all made it through customs and made our way out to the vehicles I was struck my two things. They first thing that struck me was the two military soldiers standing right outside the doors to the airport holding M-16s, they looked no older than 15. As my time in Honduras passed, I became very accustomed to military and private security guards holding M-16s many of them looking like they should still be in school. The second thing that struck me was the amount of fast food restaurants right outside of the airport. I was not really sure what to expect when I got there, but for some reason I was not expecting fast food restaurants such as Wendys and TGIFridays. As my time in Honduras passed, I learned that Honduras is a country of extremes. In the large cities there can be wealthy areas in which all of our “first world amenities” can be found while the more rural areas are much less developed.
            As we stepped outside into the heat, we made our way through the street of Tegus to the Peace Corps Honduras headquarters where we were treated to some pizza for a late lunch around 1 p.m. After going over some survival Spanish and some basic culture 101 as well as a more formal welcome from the staff we were sent out to meet our new host families at around 5 p.m. We made it to our training site around 6 p.m. and were ready to meet the people who we would be living with for the next 3 months. As a group of people who had gotten very little sleep the night before and had been traveling all day long and been exposed to a completely new language and culture I think it was safe to say that most of us were more than a little nervous and we were more than a little bit culture shocked. I do not remember a lot about meeting my host family for the first time, but what I do remember is entering the house for the first time and being shown my room by my new neighbor since my host family was not yet home. I remember being unbelievably tired and overwhelmed I was really not sure if I was supposed to now begin to try to speak Spanish (which I knew almost nothing of) to these people that I just met. I decided to excuse myself in my best broken Spanish and take a nap.
            As I woke up from my nap an hour or so later I found that my host family had returned from wherever they were at and ventured out into the family room. I do not remember any more of the night but I am sure that I tried my very best to introduce myself and talk to my new host family for a little bit before excusing myself to go to the bathroom and then to bed again. After almost 18 hours of nonstop changes the longest day of my life finally came to an end. That day was a year ago today when I set foot in Honduras for the first time to begin the greatest adventure of my young life. So much has changed in my life in the past year and I am still adjusting to all that has happened but I do not regret a moment of my time in Honduras. It was six months of pure excitement, learning, and growing.   

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

TED

Another great video to watch if you have some extra time, this guy talks about optimism and touches on what I was trying to say in my post here, http://jimhanleypc.blogspot.com/2011/12/rptf-positie-behavior-reinforcement.html. By the way, I love TED and you should too!

TED video: http://www.ted.com/talks/view/lang///id/1375

Video worth the 30 minutes

Here is a video that is well worth the 30 minutes to watch it, hopefully this message spreads and KONY is taken care of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

Friday, February 24, 2012

Life Update


February 24th, 2012

            Alright it has been a while since I have actually written a real blog that passed along real information about my life etc. Most of that has to be with me being plain lazy while some of it has to do with not wanting to rock the boat while I was still officially a PCV until the 15th of this month. For those reasons I was mostly just passing on news articles about the situation in Honduras and the situation in Honduras is fairly bad however I do want to say that in many of the more rural areas the violence is not nearly as high. Most of the violence, gangs, and drug trafficking seem to take place in the larger cities (specifically San Pedro Sula and Tegus) as well as the North Coast. So while I think the media has done a fairly good job of reporting on the situation down there, they have spread the message that the entire country is basically a war zone and you are safe nowhere. I have to say from personal experience that I felt very safe in my site as did almost every other volunteer I know, the real issue for us was the travel (which is really dangerous). So if you have been following along with the Honduras situation, please do not think that the entire country is corrupt and scum that is pretty much just the people in charge who have the power. The vast majority of people who I met and interacted with are by far some of the friendliest, most helpful, and happiest people I have ever met.
            In other news, I am officially a RPCV now so my time with the PC in officially over. As for what exactly is next for me the plan as of now is to look for a job near/in Chicago at a public elementary school with low income that has a high population of Spanish speakers/English Language Learners. I LOVED my time in the PC and would love to continue with my service however my logic goes as follows as to why I am not going to reapply at the current time:
A)    In order to reapply I had to wait until I was done with my time in Honduras aka Feb. 15th and then I needed to fill out a form complete with my medical clearance. I figure that by the time that I am done with the medical stuff and get everything send in it will be around the start of March.
B)    Once I get everything sent in they have to then go through it and make sure everything is okay, since the PC is a governmental organization I am assuming that by the time that they get all of that done it will be around mid-March.  
C)    Once I am all set and ready to go they need to find me a new country to go to. Since I would obviously want to go to another Spanish speaking country it would most likely be around another 6 months before I find out where I am going and actually get to go there. So I am now looking around Septemberish.
D)    Once I am in my new country I would need to go through another 3 months of training, so now we are talking December, maybe even 2013.
E)     After training I would get another new site and would have to spend another 3 months or so getting to know the town, the people, and earning their trust. So around March of 2013.
F)     At this point I could finally really start to get down to helping people out again, now I know that I would be helping people out throughout but most of training is really about yourself and learning the culture/language.
So, around March of 2013 I can really get down to helping people out again in this world and that is if everything goes exactly according to plan and as quickly as humanly possible (not likely), my logic therefore tells me that I have a certain set of skills at this point in my life which can help a population of people right now, and I don’t even have to go to a foreign country to do it. At least that is the plan at this point. Of course, there are some other options but that is plan A. In the future I do hope to get involved in a program called Peace Corps Response, which is basically PC but it is shorter length terms and more specific jobs. So the thought for me is after I get some more real life experience in the field of special education I can take that to a developing country and provide some real help.
            As for what is going to happen to the blog at this point I am not quite sure, I believe that I am going to try to continue it because I still have a list of things that I want to write about concerning my time in Honduras, international development, and maybe I will even throw in some RPFs. Another thought is that I might try to continue writing on the blog but just change it to a blog about the experience of a first year teacher which I think would be interesting, however we will see. So that is a little update about my life, please do not hate me for not posting for such a long time. I promise I will be much better in the future (I think haha).
            

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Good Articles

Two good articles on NPR that discusses the situation in Honduras. The corruption of the Police is one of the biggest issues that they currently are dealing with. I saw it in my own site, I was told that the head of the Police in my site could not go around the town without the other police because if he was caught alone he would have been killed by different townspeople in a revenge killing. The townspeople wanted revenge for different crimes (including murder that the police chief had committed against the people). Please keep in mind that this is what I was told so it is totally possible that it is not true but I believe it. So, police corruption is alive and well in Honduras.

http://www.npr.org/2012/02/11/146668852/in-honduras-police-accused-of-corruption-killings
http://www.npr.org/2012/02/12/146758628/who-rules-in-honduras-a-coups-lasting-impact

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Video

I know that I have been really bad at writing here since I got back. I am hoping to get back into the swing of things here soon. In the mean time, here is a youtube video about Honduras that again helps to show the reality of the situation there. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC46zDy9M1Q

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I'm home

Well after a full day of travel I'm home safe! Hopefully more to come in the following days to update everyone on the situation etc.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Update

Just wanted to update everyone about the current situation. I am in Tegus (the capital city) with all the other volunteers from all around Honduras. We are all participating in a conference and we are having a lot of our questions answered. I have found out that I will be getting in late Monday night, real late! Can't wait to see everyone!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Happy Bday!

Just wanted to take the time to wish my sister, Megan (better known as the first half of Merl) a very happy bday and I also wanted to let here know that my present is that I will be coming home on the 16th! BEST PRESENT EVER, from the best brother ever!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Star of Bethleham


January 10th , 2012

            Today has begun my rounds of goodbyes here in Dulce Nombre, and suddenly this leaving Honduras thing has become a lot more real. The past few weeks I have known that I was going to be leaving Honduras but instead of being sad that I was leaving my adopted home I was excited to be seeing my family and friends again, not to mention the ability to flush toilet paper again (I am not sure why this is such a running thread in my blogs…). I would lay awake at night thinking about all the old joys that I would again be able to experience while I was back in the states and those that I was going to spend time with during these said experiences. While I am still really excited to be going back home with my family and friends, the bittersweet feelings are definitely starting to take ahold of me. While we will not know for around another month or so whether or not Honduras will be deemed safe enough for us to return the overall feeling that I, along with most other volunteers I have talked to, is that PCH’s future does not look bright at least not for the current volunteers.
            With so much up in the air right now my mind is constantly changing and swirling about the different possibilities for my life/new adventure. While it is enjoyable to have such a blank slate open to me right now with the whole world at my feet and literally every path open, this same wide openness can also drive me crazy. We Americans like to have plans and this not having a plan thing is strangely difficult to deal with, it remind me of how I was feeling when I first got into my site and had absolutely nothing to do and no projects on the horizon. While now, after almost four months in site, I have done so much work and started to lay the foundation of so many projects. Much of this work was simply spending time with people and letting them get to know me and earning their trust so that I would have them behind me throughout the rest of my service. I know that all of this work has not gone to waste because in every conversation I had with the people I was learning as were they, however it does feel like the work will not be able to reach its full potential and wasted potential is one of the things that I hate most in this world. A great unknown has presented itself to me in the forms of many things. It has presented itself to me in the form of the potential projects that could be done here in the future, it has presented itself to me in the form of the potential lives that I could touch, and it has presented itself to me in the form of the potential improvements that I could help to make in my community. The common wisdom in PC is that the second year in site is the most fun because you finally know exactly what you are doing and your projects are finally starting to be accomplished. I am starting to fear that I may never get to experience these things.
            As stated in one of my previous blogs, if PCH is not reopened back up to the volunteer population, my likely next path would be to try to find a job near or in Chicago teaching at an elementary school with a high Spanish speaking and low income population. While I am really excited about that possibility, I am also saddened that I may not be able to complete my 2 years of PC service. In PC there is this attitude of how much can I handle before I call it quits/look how tough I am, though it may be a secret attitude that not many volunteers will admit to I do think it is present. We as volunteers like to experience hardships, whether we think it is part of the job or whether we have a misplaced feeling of the white man’s burden I do not know but there is no doubt in my mind that a certain pride factor places an important role in all of our service here in Peace Corps. So what might just happen with this current situation is that I will not be able to finish my 2 years here, sure I could always transfer to another country and begin my two years over again but just being honest I do not really want to do the waiting, the training, and the mixing in to my community all over again. So it seems like I may be “quitting” PC though it sure does not feel like it, it feel like we were all just given a fairly bad deal and we have to make the best of it and so that is what I am intending to do.
            I will readily admit that this secret pride factor will make an impact on my decisions in the future because I want to finish up my PC service. It seems dumb but I want that R before the PCV (aka RPCV, Returned Peace Corps Volunteer). Thinking about this issue and realizing exactly how I felt about this over the last couple of weeks has let me learn more about my real motives for joining the PC. I think that I have joined the PC for all of the usual responses, I want to help people, I want to gain a better perspective on my life and what I have, I want to learn a new culture and a new language. However I realize now that I also joined because I wanted to do something that not many other people in this world have accomplished, and I wanted to do it for my own pride. I wanted to do it for my own glory, while I am not extremely proud of this fact it is true and I am glad that I have realized it. Even though most of my motives are well intentioned there is also that small portion that is for my own glory and I do not like that. One of the reasons I think getting a teaching job in Chicago is so appealing to me right now is because I know that I help people without necessarily having a motive of doing these good deeds for my own glory (By the way, I am pretty sure that the previous paragraph is an example of the odd state that my mind is currently in but I do think that what I wrote has some truth to it).  
            This past Sunday, Fr. Henry gave a nice sermon about stars in relation to the story of the three wise men and how they followed the star to find baby Jesus. He preached that we need to realize when God puts stars in our own lives and that we need to have the faith to follow them, no matter where they lead (He also preached that many of us are ourselves stars and have people following us however we do not realize it, but we must realize it and therefore be the best star that we can be for the sake of those following us). I know that God has put my star out there and all I need to do is to follow that star. However that is a lot easier said than done, when I look up into my figurative night sky I see millions of stars and I can follow any of them. The only problem is that only one of them is God’s star, the star that I need to follow. So which star do I follow, the one that leads me back to Honduras, the one that leads me to Chicago, or the one that leads me to another whole country altogether? At this moment I do not know but with my faith in God, that night sky full of stars will become one single star and all I have to do is follow it. 

Saturday, January 7, 2012

New pictures

Just a link to new pictures, enjoy!
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150541668742359.435008.593887358&type=1&l=fb7d722853

Friday, January 6, 2012

RPF, ideas

January 6th, 2012

            When I first came up with this RPF idea I thought it was going to be fairly easy to come up a random thought once a week that I could expound upon for at least three paragraphs and make it a least a little bit interesting and entertaining. I believe that I have been able to do that over the past ten weeks (I believe this is RPF #10…), though I am not so sure my readers would agree with me. However week after week I have constantly struggled to think of a topic to write about in my weekly RPF, now I believe some of those struggles have to do with the fact that I do not want to write about Honduras or the Peace Corps experience. However, seeing as my life is Honduras and the Peace Corps experience it does make it a little hard to let my mind wander and think of completely random thoughts, especially during this weird time for PCH.
This week I have really tried to put in a lot of time trying to come up with a good subject for my RPF this week I even listen to a guy named Kevin Wildes who was on a podcast with my favorite sports writer Bill Simmons in a bit that they call “Half Baked Ideas.” In this bit, Mr. Wildes simply shares different ideas that he has come up with, now these ideas are not fully thought out and that is exactly why they are called Half Baked Ideas (of course there is another reference involved there as well but we are a child friendly site...). For example, one of his ideas was that he thinks there should be more eve’s like Labor Day Eve or Valentine’s Day Eve. While all of his ideas are not spectacular, him sharing his ideas and listening to the ideas evolve is very interesting and also highly entertaining. Idea generation, and more so the evolution of the idea has always been extremely interesting to me because I like to see where an idea begins and also where it ends up, I guess I just like the creative process.   
            I have always been trying to think of good ideas or at least entertaining ideas and during college I even had a list next to my bed on which I would put my great ideas whenever they would come to me whether it was right before falling asleep or in the shower, etc. I don’t remember having too many great or world changing ideas on that sheet of paper that I have since lost unfortunately, though I do think my compliment website idea could at least help some people out in this world. I do think that many of the best ideas come from bouncing ideas off of other people and letting them evolve through the discussion. So with that idea in mind here is my own half-baked idea, I think there should be some place online where people can get together and bounce their ideas off of each other kind of like an online think tank. It would be like an online TED conference only with less great ideas mostly since it would be open to all of the internet. So using the new crowd sourcing techniques I think this website could potentially come up with some good ideas while of course it would no doubt come up with some terrible ideas as well as some truly terrible comments. But let’s be honest the best part about many online websites are the terrible comments so at least it would have that going for it if nothing else. Wow that idea was probably less than half-baked I realize now but maybe during my time in PCC I can spend more time and come up with some more (and better) half-baked ideas to share with everyone here.   

Thursday, January 5, 2012

One week left

January 5th, 2012

            So as I sit here in the library typing this up, I have currently found out that we will be leaving the 12th on January from our sites for the capital and the meeting, which means I have exactly one more week in my site here of Dulce Nombre. It is really odd to think that my time here in Honduras and my time in the Peace Corps could be ending so quickly after it started but that is a very real possibility for me. The outlook for Honduras in terms of security does not look good and with this year coming up being a political year as my host dad put it, “It is going to be ugly, you do not even want to be here for it…” The upcoming political year added on top of the ongoing corruption in the police/government with the huge amount of drug trafficking that takes place in Honduras makes the future bleak for our return to Honduras in the near future.  
            While our leaving Hondurans mostly came to a shock to the Volunteers we did have some idea that this could possibly happen. Hondurans on the other hand I believe were completely surprised by this news however while they were completely surprised by the news it was news that they completely understood. With the exceptions of a few politicians, who already have harsh feelings towards the United States, every Honduran I have encountered has been totally understanding and extremely nice to me about the whole situation. They totally understand that they have some problems as a country that they need to take care of to make it safe before we can come back. Many Hondurans have even apologized to me for the lack of security and for their corrupt government, even though they have done nothing wrong themselves. There is a hope amongst some Hondurans, and myself as well, that this may actually have a positive effect on Honduras as this will lead to tighter anticorruption laws and increased support against violence. This might just be the bottom that Honduras has to hit before they can finally start the upward climb again or it may not as I have heard (heard from the VP of Congress who stated it to the national newspapers… so really stable government right now) rumors of another coup that could possibly take place.  
As a PCV it does feel like we are walking out on Honduras when they need us most in this time of great need. It does feel like when things have gotten hard we decided we have had enough. It does not seem fair that we are able to just pick up our lives here because it is unsafe and move back to the safety of the States while the people living here have no such option whatsoever. For some reason I feel like we (PCH) are Brue Wayne in “The Dark Knight” when he has finally gotten fed up with all of the killing going on because he has refused to reveal himself, he asks Alfred what he should do. Alfred responds, “Endure master Wayne, endure. Take it. They will hate you for it, but that is the point of Batman. He can be the outcast, he can make the choice no one else can make, the right choice.” So in many ways I feel like we should be staying here and making that tough choice to be here for the Hondurans when they need us most. I do completely understand the decision by PCW and PCH in sending us home however and we will just have to wait and see if our story has a happy ending or a cliff hanger like Dark Knight (Make sure to catch PC Honduras 2: The Rise of the Volunteers coming soon to a theater near you!)    
            So with all that being said, in the immediate future I have to get all packed up, finish up my projects (I am currently giving a class about the Bible along with a few other people to a group of about 50 kids. I am also working with one of my counterparts on compiling a book about my site of Dulce Nombre, we are almost finished and I hope we can finish before I leave), give away stuff that I have accumulated (crazy how much stuff you pick up along the journey), and say my goodbyes. I am really not looking forward to saying my goodbyes to these people that I have grown to love and they have become my family here in Honduras. While it may not be a final goodbye and I could possibly be back here in a month or two it sure does not feel like it.
            So to outline what the options for my life are at this point I have compiled a list below, they are ranked from 1-4 in terms of my number 1 option to my number 4 option.
1.      Return to Honduras, this is the option that I would like to have but sadly I feel like right now there is just no way that this post will be opened back up in the near future. I obviously want to be able to come back here and work with the people that I have begun to work with so far and identified so many more projects that we want to do together. Sadly, it just might not be in the cards.
2.      Find a job in Chicago or near Chicago teaching special education to a population that is low income and largely Spanish speaking. At this exact moment in my life this is the option that I think is the most likely to happen, as stated above I do not think we will be able to return to Honduras and as you will see below I do not think I want to reapply for another PC country. So this is the option that I currently have my mind set on, and I am actually really excited about having this opportunity.
3.      Reapply to PC and wait and wait and wait for another assignment. While I would love to continue my service and finish up my time with the PC, if we are not allowed back in Honduras we can reapply to PC and have an “expedited” reapplication process for another country. I know of another volunteer in Honduras who had to leave here first PC country (this has happened to her twice in other words, bad luck huh?) and from the time she left to the time that she got to Honduras was a span of seven months. So, if we lay out my imaginary timeline we would probably not know about the fate of PC Honduras until mid-February, considering I reapply right away, I most likely would not be in my new assigned country until Septemberish. After I arrived I would have to go through 3 months of training again and then another 2 year term. So that would mean I would be out around December of 2014. Not really seeing that as a viable option at this point in my life.
4.      Apply to a grad program at Columbia University Teacher’s College in New York and work for three years in the New York public school system while also getting my master’s in what I would hope to be English Language Learning. I really do like this option as well but I have not done much research into this program yet and since it is offered through Peace Corps Fellows I could potentially get my education at a very discounted price but at the same time I would have to be accepted into the program and only having 3 months of PC service I am not sure if that would be hard to do. So right now this is more of a possible dream/option but we will see.  
So there are four options laid out about my immediate possible future plans, if this experience has taught me anything however it is that I should not make plans too far in advance because the best laid plans of mice and men… (Is there any ending to that saying or can I just leave it like that? I think I can leave it like that, besides it is my blog so I am going to do just that). With the week that I have left in site I am just trying to enjoy all of the little quarks that the PCV life here in Honduras offers as well as trying to get as much work as I can get done while still taking the time to spend with the people that I have become close to over the last 3 months.  

Monday, January 2, 2012

Political Cartoon

This political cartoon was in one of the national newspapers a couple of days ago, thought I would share it. Translation by my sitemate Jenna Pierce.
(Left bubble): Dang! They’ve been here for fifty years, and now that we have the “President of Security” the “Peace Corps” Volunteers are fleeing.
(Right bubble): They’re too delicate! Just because they harassed them, they robbed them, they assaulted them and they kidnapped them all the time… Naw, man! There are some people that are resentful for no reason!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to everyone out there, I hope that it is a safe and productive year!