January 5th, 2012
So as I
sit here in the library typing this up, I have currently found out that we will
be leaving the 12th on January from our sites for the capital and
the meeting, which means I have exactly one more week in my site here of Dulce
Nombre. It is really odd to think that my time here in Honduras and my time in
the Peace Corps could be ending so quickly after it started but that is a very
real possibility for me. The outlook for Honduras in terms of security does not
look good and with this year coming up being a political year as my host dad
put it, “It is going to be ugly, you do not even want to be here for it…” The
upcoming political year added on top of the ongoing corruption in the
police/government with the huge amount of drug trafficking that takes place in
Honduras makes the future bleak for our return to Honduras in the near future.
While
our leaving Hondurans mostly came to a shock to the Volunteers we did have some
idea that this could possibly happen. Hondurans on the other hand I believe
were completely surprised by this news however while they were completely
surprised by the news it was news that they completely understood. With the
exceptions of a few politicians, who already have harsh feelings towards the
United States, every Honduran I have encountered has been totally understanding
and extremely nice to me about the whole situation. They totally understand
that they have some problems as a country that they need to take care of to
make it safe before we can come back. Many Hondurans have even apologized to me
for the lack of security and for their corrupt government, even though they
have done nothing wrong themselves. There is a hope amongst some Hondurans, and
myself as well, that this may actually have a positive effect on Honduras as
this will lead to tighter anticorruption laws and increased support against
violence. This might just be the bottom that Honduras has to hit before they
can finally start the upward climb again or it may not as I have heard (heard
from the VP of Congress who stated it to the national newspapers… so really
stable government right now) rumors of another coup that could possibly take
place.
As a PCV it does feel like we are walking out on Honduras when they need us
most in this time of great need. It does feel like when things have gotten hard
we decided we have had enough. It does not seem fair that we are able to just
pick up our lives here because it is unsafe and move back to the safety of the
States while the people living here have no such option whatsoever. For some
reason I feel like we (PCH) are Brue Wayne in “The Dark Knight” when he has
finally gotten fed up with all of the killing going on because he has refused
to reveal himself, he asks Alfred what he should do. Alfred responds, “Endure
master Wayne, endure. Take it. They will hate you for it, but that is the point
of Batman. He can be the outcast, he can make the choice no one else can make,
the right choice.” So in many ways I feel like we should be staying here and
making that tough choice to be here for the Hondurans when they need us most. I
do completely understand the decision by PCW and PCH in sending us home however
and we will just have to wait and see if our story has a happy ending or a
cliff hanger like Dark Knight (Make sure to catch PC Honduras 2: The Rise of
the Volunteers coming soon to a theater near you!)
So with
all that being said, in the immediate future I have to get all packed up,
finish up my projects (I am currently giving a class about the Bible along with
a few other people to a group of about 50 kids. I am also working with one of
my counterparts on compiling a book about my site of Dulce Nombre, we are
almost finished and I hope we can finish before I leave), give away stuff that I
have accumulated (crazy how much stuff you pick up along the journey), and say
my goodbyes. I am really not looking forward to saying my goodbyes to these people
that I have grown to love and they have become my family here in Honduras.
While it may not be a final goodbye and I could possibly be back here in a
month or two it sure does not feel like it.
So to
outline what the options for my life are at this point I have compiled a list
below, they are ranked from 1-4 in terms of my number 1 option to my number 4
option.
1.
Return to Honduras,
this is the option that I would like to have but sadly I feel like right now
there is just no way that this post will be opened back up in the near future.
I obviously want to be able to come back here and work with the people that I have
begun to work with so far and identified so many more projects that we want to
do together. Sadly, it just might not be in the cards.
2.
Find a job in
Chicago or near Chicago teaching special education to a population that is low
income and largely Spanish speaking. At this exact moment in my life this is
the option that I think is the most likely to happen, as stated above I do not
think we will be able to return to Honduras and as you will see below I do not
think I want to reapply for another PC country. So this is the option that I
currently have my mind set on, and I am actually really excited about having
this opportunity.
3.
Reapply to PC and
wait and wait and wait for another assignment. While I would love to continue
my service and finish up my time with the PC, if we are not allowed back in
Honduras we can reapply to PC and have an “expedited” reapplication process for
another country. I know of another volunteer in Honduras who had to leave here
first PC country (this has happened to her twice in other words, bad luck huh?)
and from the time she left to the time that she got to Honduras was a span of
seven months. So, if we lay out my imaginary timeline we would probably not
know about the fate of PC Honduras until mid-February, considering I reapply
right away, I most likely would not be in my new assigned country until
Septemberish. After I arrived I would have to go through 3 months of training
again and then another 2 year term. So that would mean I would be out around
December of 2014. Not really seeing that as a viable option at this point in my
life.
4.
Apply to a grad
program at Columbia University Teacher’s College in New York and work for three
years in the New York public school system while also getting my master’s in
what I would hope to be English Language Learning. I really do like this option
as well but I have not done much research into this program yet and since it is
offered through Peace Corps Fellows I could potentially get my education at a
very discounted price but at the same time I would have to be accepted into the
program and only having 3 months of PC service I am not sure if that would be
hard to do. So right now this is more of a possible dream/option but we will
see.
So there are four options laid out about my immediate possible future
plans, if this experience has taught me anything however it is that I should
not make plans too far in advance because the best laid plans of mice and men…
(Is there any ending to that saying or can I just leave it like that? I think I
can leave it like that, besides it is my blog so I am going to do just that).
With the week that I have left in site I am just trying to enjoy all of the
little quarks that the PCV life here in Honduras offers as well as trying to
get as much work as I can get done while still taking the time to spend with
the people that I have become close to over the last 3 months.