One week left

January 5^th, 2012

            So as I sit here in the library typing this up, I have currently found out that we will be leaving the 12^th on January from our sites for the capital and the meeting, which means I have exactly one more week in my site here of Dulce Nombre. It is really odd to think that my time here in Honduras and my time in the Peace Corps could be ending so quickly after it started but that is a very real possibility for me. The outlook for Honduras in terms of security does not look good and with this year coming up being a political year as my host dad put it, “It is going to be ugly, you do not even want to be here for it…” The upcoming political year added on top of the ongoing corruption in the police/government with the huge amount of drug trafficking that takes place in Honduras makes the future bleak for our return to Honduras in the near future.  

            While our leaving Hondurans mostly came to a shock to the Volunteers we did have some idea that this could possibly happen. Hondurans on the other hand I believe were completely surprised by this news however while they were completely surprised by the news it was news that they completely understood. With the exceptions of a few politicians, who already have harsh feelings towards the United States, every Honduran I have encountered has been totally understanding and extremely nice to me about the whole situation. They totally understand that they have some problems as a country that they need to take care of to make it safe before we can come back. Many Hondurans have even apologized to me for the lack of security and for their corrupt government, even though they have done nothing wrong themselves. There is a hope amongst some Hondurans, and myself as well, that this may actually have a positive effect on Honduras as this will lead to tighter anticorruption laws and increased support against violence. This might just be the bottom that Honduras has to hit before they can finally start the upward climb again or it may not as I have heard (heard from the VP of Congress who stated it to the national newspapers… so really stable government right now) rumors of another coup that could possibly take place.  

As a PCV it does feel like we are walking out on Honduras when they need us most in this time of great need. It does feel like when things have gotten hard we decided we have had enough. It does not seem fair that we are able to just pick up our lives here because it is unsafe and move back to the safety of the States while the people living here have no such option whatsoever. For some reason I feel like we (PCH) are Brue Wayne in “The Dark Knight” when he has finally gotten fed up with all of the killing going on because he has refused to reveal himself, he asks Alfred what he should do. Alfred responds, “Endure master Wayne, endure. Take it. They will hate you for it, but that is the point of Batman. He can be the outcast, he can make the choice no one else can make, the right choice.” So in many ways I feel like we should be staying here and making that tough choice to be here for the Hondurans when they need us most. I do completely understand the decision by PCW and PCH in sending us home however and we will just have to wait and see if our story has a happy ending or a cliff hanger like Dark Knight (Make sure to catch PC Honduras 2: The Rise of the Volunteers coming soon to a theater near you!)    

            So with all that being said, in the immediate future I have to get all packed up, finish up my projects (I am currently giving a class about the Bible along with a few other people to a group of about 50 kids. I am also working with one of my counterparts on compiling a book about my site of Dulce Nombre, we are almost finished and I hope we can finish before I leave), give away stuff that I have accumulated (crazy how much stuff you pick up along the journey), and say my goodbyes. I am really not looking forward to saying my goodbyes to these people that I have grown to love and they have become my family here in Honduras. While it may not be a final goodbye and I could possibly be back here in a month or two it sure does not feel like it.

            So to outline what the options for my life are at this point I have compiled a list below, they are ranked from 1-4 in terms of my number 1 option to my number 4 option.

1.      Return to Honduras, this is the option that I would like to have but sadly I feel like right now there is just no way that this post will be opened back up in the near future. I obviously want to be able to come back here and work with the people that I have begun to work with so far and identified so many more projects that we want to do together. Sadly, it just might not be in the cards.

2.      Find a job in Chicago or near Chicago teaching special education to a population that is low income and largely Spanish speaking. At this exact moment in my life this is the option that I think is the most likely to happen, as stated above I do not think we will be able to return to Honduras and as you will see below I do not think I want to reapply for another PC country. So this is the option that I currently have my mind set on, and I am actually really excited about having this opportunity.

3.      Reapply to PC and wait and wait and wait for another assignment. While I would love to continue my service and finish up my time with the PC, if we are not allowed back in Honduras we can reapply to PC and have an “expedited” reapplication process for another country. I know of another volunteer in Honduras who had to leave here first PC country (this has happened to her twice in other words, bad luck huh?) and from the time she left to the time that she got to Honduras was a span of seven months. So, if we lay out my imaginary timeline we would probably not know about the fate of PC Honduras until mid-February, considering I reapply right away, I most likely would not be in my new assigned country until Septemberish. After I arrived I would have to go through 3 months of training again and then another 2 year term. So that would mean I would be out around December of 2014. Not really seeing that as a viable option at this point in my life.

4.      Apply to a grad program at Columbia University Teacher’s College in New York and work for three years in the New York public school system while also getting my master’s in what I would hope to be English Language Learning. I really do like this option as well but I have not done much research into this program yet and since it is offered through Peace Corps Fellows I could potentially get my education at a very discounted price but at the same time I would have to be accepted into the program and only having 3 months of PC service I am not sure if that would be hard to do. So right now this is more of a possible dream/option but we will see.  

So there are four options laid out about my immediate possible future plans, if this experience has taught me anything however it is that I should not make plans too far in advance because the best laid plans of mice and men… (Is there any ending to that saying or can I just leave it like that? I think I can leave it like that, besides it is my blog so I am going to do just that). With the week that I have left in site I am just trying to enjoy all of the little quarks that the PCV life here in Honduras offers as well as trying to get as much work as I can get done while still taking the time to spend with the people that I have become close to over the last 3 months.